Before, I am young and free – nothing has ever bothered me. I love many and get nothing in return, but I smile and laugh, nonetheless. I stare into my easy future, unperturbed. Everything is beautiful, even if some things hurt.
I could jump into a frozen lake with my eyes shut and still emerge triumphant. I killed death each day and so did you. We raced through a daisy field in the heat of a Swedish summer many years ago, barefoot and grinning.
I miss seeing your face. You were kind to me once, and it meant something to me. Your eyes were beautiful: a blue/green fantasia. We stood shoulder to shoulder one time, imagining the life to come. You smiled at your future, but I looked away nervously, as if I knew what was to come.
After, I cry more easily. I worry more, and life is heavier. That doesn’t mean that I won’t rise to the occasion and shoulder it, just that it will take me longer to accept it without you.
The world is still beautiful, even though you are gone. I often wish you were here to see the sunsets with me – the colours are splendid.