Dear Gus Gerassimides,
Rarely has any man been so straightforward and persistent with me as you, Gus, and quite frankly, I am flattered. Please enjoy this letter from yours truly.
To be honest, I had never heard of you before this semester. It is quite clear though, that you were aware of me long before I was. I became aware of this when, on Valentine’s Day, no less, you sent me an email confessing your interest in me and ended it with you “looking forward” to seeing me. I was so excited to meet my admirer, but alas, you never came.
I thought that you had all but forgotten about me, but on March 4th, I was proven wrong. You made a public announcement to the whole campus, making your admiration public to the whole college. I guess you really wanted me to listen to your guidance then. Soon enough, friends and strangers alike were commenting about us and I heard so many interesting things about you. From the time you took someone’s parking spot, to your paternalistic judicial meetings and last but not least, your personal distaste for electronic mail.
I am sure though, there is much that I have not learned about you and so, I am still holding out for the day when we shall meet face to face.